ps 139:1-10

O Lord, You have searched me and known me.

You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You search out my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is too high, I cannot attain to it.

Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend up into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there shall Your hand lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.

Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in his temple. ...therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD. ...When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.

Then did they spit in his face, and buffeted him; and others smote him with the palms of their hands, saying, Prophesy unto us, thou Christ, Who is he that smote thee?

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face!

But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him: And they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads. And there shall be no night there; and they need no candle, neither light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them light: and they shall reign for ever and ever.

ahava

Ahava literally means "I will give," a fitting concept for a word that denotes love. It reminded me of the ultimate Giver, the One who became poor for me. This is the type of love that characterizes the Man I've given my heart to.

- - - - - -

This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience—it looks for a way of being constructive. It is not possessive: it is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance.

Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage. It is not touchy. It does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it shares the joy of those who live by the truth.

Love knows no limits to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love never fails.

getting over it

When a loved one dies, it changes your life forever. My father's body has been dead for over three years, yet I find I still miss him acutely. The words of C.S. Lewis are particuarly profound when dealing with this subject. After the death of his wife, he wrote A Grief Observed. The following is one of my favorite sections from that book.

Getting over it so soon? But the words are ambiguous. To say the patient is getting over it after an operation for appendicitis is one thing; after he’s had his leg off it is quite another. After that operation either the wounded stump heals or the man dies. If it heals, the fierce, continuous pain will stop. Presently he’ll get back his strength and be able to stump about on his wooden leg. He has ‘got over it.’ But he will probably have recurrent pains in the stump all his life, and perhaps pretty bad ones; and he will always be a one-legged man. There will be hardly any moment when he forgets it. Bathing, dressing, sitting down and getting up again, even lying in bed, will all be different. His whole way of life will be changed.

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation: He is my defense; I shall not be moved.

In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah!

Psalm 62:5-8

mysteries

What do you do when the Lord doesn't seem to make sense?

When He allows events to occur that seem in direct contradiction to His character?

The age old question "Why" has echoed down the centuries and still carries the weight of anguished souls crying out for a reason. Although it is nice to understand why the Lord allows some things to happen, ultimately we have to be willing to trust Him. Some things are too great for us to understand, and quite frankly, the Lord has no need or responsibility to explain Himself to us. Currently my heart is breaking over the terminal illness of my favorite uncle, and I have no answer for why the Lord is allowing cancer to kill him at the age of 54. However, the Lord does not need to tell me why. It is enough to know that He allowed it to happen, and He is good. Trust means very little if it requires answers and explanations.

Events will occur that I cannot explain. I don't need to. I know the One who knows everything and I've found Him to be immeasurably worthy of trust. I will continue to believe He is good regardless of circumstances. I will continue to believe He is Love regardless of pain. I will continue to believe He is righteous regardless of all the injustice in the world. And I will continue to believe that someday He'll return and set everything right.

one of my many theme songs

What I Did For Love

(Brent Maher/Thom Schuyler)

Everybody's heart is torn and tattered
Mine was not designed for giving up
'Cause all I've ever done that really matters
Is what I did for love

So count me with the wounded and the shaken
Even when I'm barely standing up
I've tried to offer more than I have taken
That's what I did for love

What I did for love
I gave everything
And I hope that you can see
All that love has given me

When they sit and list the reasons I existed
I'm afraid it won't add up to very much
'Cause I gathered all I had and gladly risked it
That's what I did for love

What I did for love
I gave everything
And I hope that you can see
All that love has given me

Someday I may silently surrender
When this old heart has finally had enough
But I hope that I will always be remembered
By what I did for love
See all I've ever done that really matters
Is what I did for love

I will bless the Lord at all times: His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the Lord: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.

O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together!

I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto Him and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear Him, and delivereth them.

O taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man that trusts in Him.

O fear the Lord, ye His saints: for there is no want to them that fear Him. The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.

-Pslam 34:1-10

the countless infinitesimals

“The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little, soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look, a heart-felt compliment, and the countless infinitesimals of pleasurable and genial feeling.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge

crossroads

Have you ever stood at a crossroads and wondered which road to take?

Have you ever spent sleepless nights gazing at the stars wondering where you'll be in a year?

Have you ever wondered what you really want, after all?

If so, you know how I've been feeling lately. I'm beginning to think the hardest part of college might be deciding what to do after you're done. I used to say, "I don't know where I'll be in five years" and now I can honestly say, "I haven't the foggiest clue where I'll be in one year." Even though I don't know where I'll be or what I'll be doing, I do know Who will be with me. I find that knowledge makes all the difference. My father used to say,

The Lord wants us to get it right more than we do. If we really want to know His will, He'll move heaven and earth to show it to us.

Looking back over my short life I'm amazed by how unpredictable it's been. Three times the course of my world has changed in a single afternoon. If my future shares anything with my past, then it'll be an incredible adventure. I'm not afraid as I consider all the possible paths before me, for I know the One who is standing next to me, and He's holding my hand. I can rely on Him to show me which road is best, and if I lean on Him, He'll never let me falter. Life is an exciting adventure when lived in Him. Jabe Nicholson once said,

When people complain that they don't know the Lord's will for their life, I often ask, 'Oh don't you? Don't you really?' I have never met a person who has not known what the Lord wants them to do for the next day. He always shows us the next step. The question really is, 'Will we take it?'

I'm excited to take these next steps as I rely on the One who cannot fail. I'm excited to be in a position where I have to trust Him for my future. I'm excited to see new aspects of His character as I start a journey with Him. When I gaze at the stars at night, I still don't know where I'll be in a year, but I don't need to know. All I need is the Lord Jesus Christ, and all I want is to be able to say without hypocrisy, "For me to live is Christ and I know Him, the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings. I know Him." And that's all I need to know.

dreams

“It's not enough to have a dream unless I'm willing to pursue it. It's not enough to know what's right unless I'm strong enough to do it. It's not enough to join the crowd, to be acknowledged and accepted. I must be true to my ideals, even if I'm excluded and rejected. It's not enough to learn the truth unless I also learn to live it. It's not enough to reach for love unless I care enough to give it.”

indifference

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

-Elie Wiesel

the answer is simple

A friend wrote this in a casual conversation over a year ago, and it's stuck with me ever since.

We want God's ends by our own means. We want to love, but want the love to come from us. In the process, what we've really done is tainted the idea of love itself because God is love and to separate Him from it in our minds is to downplay both the character of the Lord and the power and significance of love. As always, the answer is simple: we need to know Christ better.

The Lord's ways are not like mine, His are so much higher, stronger, and purer. I'll have a great goal (like wanting to serve Him), yet if I try to do His will in my own power I still miss out on the whole point of living life on this earth. Every day that passes I become more convinced that the great mysteries of life are really quite simple. Like Naaman's servant, I often ask myself, "If the prophet had bid you to do some great thing, would not you have done it? How much rather then, when he says, "Wash and be clean?" (2 Kings 5:13) The Lord's invitation is still there and I keep coming back to one of my father's favorite passages of Scripture. In these verses lie the keys to understanding salvation and sanctification.

Matthew 11:28-30
Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

My Liberal and Princely Giver

Music and poetry mean a great deal to me, though I'm not much of a poet or musician. *coughs* Actually, I'm really not a poet or musician at all. Regardless of my lack of ability in these areas, I greatly enjoy Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and I loved this section from Sonnet VIII from Sonnets from the Portuguese.

What can I give thee back, O liberal
And princely giver, who hast brought the gold
And purple of thine heart, unstained, untold,
And laid them on the outside of the wall
For such as I to take or leave withal,
In unexpected largesse? am I cold,
Ungrateful, that for these most manifold
High gifts, I render nothing back at all?
Not so; not cold,--but very poor instead.

Doesn't it sound like our relationship with the Lord? Why would such an One ever love me? How could He have demonstrated such love, yet leave it there for us to take or reject? I've often thought about how vulnerable He chooses to be. He knows that people will spurn His love and cruelly reject His very name, yet He still holds out His hands offering life and everything that makes it worth living. Even though I'm so very poor, I possess something He values. I give Him back what He gives me, and He blesses me for it! It's not hard to love Someone like that.

Messiah's Song

I love music. For those of you who have had the dubious privilege of being my close friends, you know music means a great deal to me. It should come as no surprise that this article by James Martin resonated with my spirit. I've really enjoyed thinking about it and wanted to share it with you all. If you have time, I'd encourage you to check out their website and archives at www.uplook.org

The following is by James Martin and was published in the January/February issue of Uplook!

Messiah's Song

I remember being at a youth conference once and hearing the speaker say, “By and large, Christians are the only people who gather together to sing.” You can, of course, find the odd exception. But the point remains: singing—not listening to music, but actually singing—is far more a part of the Christian’s life than it is of the unbeliever’s life. It really shouldn’t be a surprise. We have the most to sing about: a Saviour whose love is so vast that He voluntarily endured the torment and shame of the cross for the sake of His enemies!

But think of this. What if Jesus of Nazareth—the humble carpenter—had announced to the people of His day, “One day, there will be more songs written about Me than about any other person in history”? For that matter, what if He had claimed there would be even one song written about Him? They’d have laughed Him to scorn! Yet here we are. Two millennia later and hundreds of thousands—perhaps millions—of songs have been written about Him. Songs in every tongue and from every tribe. And not only is He preeminent in quantity. He has been the inspiration of the finest musicians and the greatest music in history. These facts ought to astound us, yet we take them for granted. Because everyone—even the unsaved—has come to expect the transcendence of Christ. A Man so magnificent that even unbelievers write songs about Him.

There’s no close second. And the gap grows greater every day. Count the number of songs you know about Krishna, or Mohammad, or Buddha, or Confucius, or Shiva (and you’d think you’d want to keep the god of destruction happy!). But there is a far greater motivator than fear. We sing about Him because we love Him. In this, we’re not alone. From cover to cover, the Bible is replete with songs about the Son of God: the Messianic Psalms, hymns, the Song of Moses and of the Lamb. Moreover, believers around the world are united in the object of our songs, and, one day, when we get to glory, our voices will be gathered together with the hosts of heaven and the faithful from across time in one great theme (Rev. 5:9; 14:3; 15:3). The real Hallelujah Chorus will shake heaven and earth.

But, as incredible as that will be, the Scriptures tell us of songs that will make all other music pale in comparison. For we are promised that, one day, we will hear Christ Himself sing. His singing, too, will be motivated by love: love for His Father (Heb. 2:12) and love for His people (Zeph. 3:17). Just as He, staggeringly, sang out of love for both as He made His way to Calvary (Mk. 14:26).

We’ve all tasted the power of music. Who of us hasn’t been thrilled or shaken to the core by the wondrous mixture of lyrics and music? And that at the songs of a fallen world! We’re told that angels sing (Job 38:7). I have no doubt they will take our breath away. But, for all the glory of the morning stars, we won’t know what real music is until the day we hear Messiah’s song.

great gain

Clinical psychologist Patricia Dalton wrote in an article for the Washington Post,

Far from making Americans happier…the need to acquire material goods has placed more stress on families. Today, parents work longer hours, leaving less time for home life. As a result, both marriages and parent-children relationships suffer. children have reacted by either becoming more status conscious or by rejecting status altogether. By confusing wants with needs, American families have forgotten that material gain, ultimately, cannot make one happy.

It is so easy to forget that life does not consist of things. Our culture is a materialistic one, but that does not mean we have to play the status game. In a world where peace is elusive and happiness tied to circumstances, it is vitally important to know where true contentment occurs. Paul tells Timothy that godliness with contentment is great gain, so obviously this business of figuring out where true contentment is found is one worthy of a diligent search. Thankfully, we know exactly how we can achieve true contentment, and the startling truth is that it's actually already been won for us.

One of my favorite verses is found in Hebrews 13.

…Be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

What is the answer to being content with what we have? It's the Lord. I can be content with whatever I have in this life, because I know what's in the next. Think about it, I have the Lord and if I have Him, then I have everything worthwhile. The Speaker tells us that wisdom is the principle thing; therefore get wisdom! Paul writes that in the Lord are hid ALL the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. If I have Him, I have everything. How can I not view myself as rich? However, I don't just have Him for a moment, I have the promise of the One who cannot lie that He will never leave me. I have the God of the universe holding my hand as I face life, and He will never let go.

How can I not be content?

exertion

How wonderful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterwards!

faithfulness

Solomon asked, “Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?”

I love the Lord's faithfulness. All of the promises of God hinge on Him being faithful in accomplishing them. God's Man and mankind's God is the One who is faithful and true.

Truly, "Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies." After my father died I was comforted by this verse in Psalms, "Shall Thy lovingkindness be declared in the grave? or Thy faithfulness in destruction?" His faithfulness is even seen in the decay and destruction of our bodies. We need not fear death because He has conquered it and we have victory in Him. I can go to my death without fear because of the God who is faithful.

Two of my favorite verses on faithfulness are the following, found in Timothy and Isaiah.

If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.

But Zion said, The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. ...Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of My hands...

It's not hard to join Isaiah in saying, "O Lord, thou art my God; I will exalt Thee, I will praise Thy name; for Thou hast done wonderful things; Thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth."

a.w.e.

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."

-Albert Einstein

trust

George MacDonald once wrote, "To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved."

Lately I've been thinking a lot about trust. Have you ever had someone ask, "Don't you trust me?" That's a very good question. Who do you trust? Why do you trust them? Should you trust them? What determines if someone is trustworthy?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines trust as assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.

Ultimately, there is One we can trust without questions or qualms. His character is the same yesterday, today, and forever. As the Creator of all, His ability is rivaled by none. No one has ever been as strong as He is. Lord Acton's famous words, "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely," are not true of God's Son. His strength is seen in creating the worlds, veiling His glory while on earth, taking the lowest possible place, being despised and loving in return, and in conquoring death through dying. He's now alive, and so strong that He has promised He can even make me stand (Romans 14)! The last definition of trust was assured reliance on the truth of someone or something. How can we not trust the One who is called the Truth (John 14:6)?

It takes little thought to realize that I can have assured reliance on His character, ability, strength and truth. I can trust Him because He is completely worthy of my trust.

What Does It Mean to Judge?

It's a sad indictment on our nation when the most commonly quoted verse is Matthew 7:1, "Judge not, that ye be not judged." I've heard variants on that verse so many times that it seems as if Christendom has a great fear of the word. If you're discussing truths, the conversation will be over when a person pointedly asks, "Be careful not to judge." As those of you who know me well could attest, I hate conflict. I truly hate it. Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. The last thing in the world I want to do is "judge" anyone or anything. That said, I've read verses like 1 Corinthians 5:12 that say, "For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church?" I was thoroughly confused, so I did what any logical person would. I set about finding answers asking the questions, "Are we ever supposed to judge?" and "What does it mean to judge?" A much better word for "judging" is "discerning," as when most people hear the word "judging" they think "condemning" and the actual Greek word implies the ability to discern.

After doing some research and reading a very good book by R.P. Amos, it turns out that there are four times we are not to judge and four areas where we are. Let me know what you all think!

Do NOT Judge

1. Do NOT Judge People's Motives (1 Corinthians 4:3, 5). This should be fairly obvious to anyone who is honest with themselves. How many times have we felt misunderstood? Someone once said, "We expect others to judge us by our heart motives yet judge them by their actions." No one but the Lord knows the heart of another person, and that's why He's the ONLY One who can judge their motivations.

2. Do NOT Judge Outward Appearance (John 7:24; 1 Samuel 16:7). It's so easy to get caught up on someone's appearance, yet we are told very clearly that we're not to judge that. It is between that person and their Lord, who can understand their motives and sees who they really are.

3. Do NOT Judge Someone's Liberty (Romans 14:2, 13). This one is really good for me to remember. If the Bible doesn't have clear directions on truths, then that area is determined by the individual's liberty. The issue of meat offered to idols is probably the most commonly cited example. Regardless of our personal convictions on these issues, we have to respect the liberty of others. My liberty is bound by the conscience of the weakest believer.

4. Do NOT Judge Someone When You're Doing the Same Thing (Matthew 7:1, 3)! It's astounding to me how easy it is to be a hypocrite. Being the visual person that I am, I love the illustration of the beam in my eye and the sliver in the eye of my fellow believer. How comforting it is that as I walk after the Lord with my whole heart and occupy my mind with the Altogether Lovely One, then He'll change me to be like Him, and in Him there is no hypocrisy at all.

You SHOULD Judge

1. We SHOULD Judge Ourselves (1 Corinthians 11:31). This one is so clear I can't think of anything to add to it. Obviously, we don't accomplish our own sanctification, but we have been bought with a price and belong to Someone else. As Paul said in Romans 6, "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?"

2. We SHOULD Judge Actions (Philippians 1:9-10). This is completely different from judging someones heart motives. We are to discern between what is right and wrong. If I tell you stealing is wrong, you might think I'm judging you. But in reality, I'm simply agreeing with the Judge of the whole earth.

3. We SHOULD Judge Doctrine (1 Corinthians 14:29; 1 Thessalonians 5:20-21). Only the Lord never made a mistake, and we are to diligently discern what doctrines are truly from the Bible, and what are the lies of Satan. I need to be careful to hold up my beliefs to the light of Scripture and discard what doesn't agree with God. Unity is incredibly important, but we must be unified about the Truth.

4. We SHOULD Judge Sin in the Church (1 Corinthians 5:12-13). This goes without saying. If it's the Lord's Church, and if He's the Head, then He has a right to say what should and should not happen. At the same time we judge sin in the Church, Paul makes it very, very, very clear that you still treat the person as a brother or sister and only talk to them in love.

Please let me know what you all think! I found it so encouraging to realize that the Judge of All will do what is right.

“God is not looking for brilliant men, is not depending upon eloquent men, is not shut up to the use of talented men in sending His Gospel out in the world. God is looking for broken men, for men who have judged themselves in the light of the Cross of Christ. When He wants anything done, He takes up men who have come to an end of themselves, and whose trust and confidence is not in themselves but in God." -H.A. Ironside

Lately my thoughts have centered on several aspects of the Lord and my relationship with Him.  DV, I will write on these later, but for now I'd just like to say that when we come to the end of ourselves we come to a glorious place, for we come to Him. 

"In looking to Christ, it is our privilege to forget ourselves. True humility does not so much consist in thinking badly of ourselves, as in not thinking of ourselves at all...what I want is to forget myself and look to God, who is indeed worth all my thoughts." -J.N. Darby

Unexpected Blessings

"The Lord reserves the right to give us more
than we could ever dream or imagine."

Do you find that you are constantly underestimating the Lord’s goodness? Over my birthday people went out of their way to make me feel valued and special, most writing notes and some sending gifts. The overwhelming feeling I had was definitely one of gratitude. I’m also so grateful to the Lord who blessed me with those friendships. This is why I wanted to write this post, I want to share how He isn’t limited by our lack of imagination.

My beautiful friend Elaini wrote her birthday wish for me,

“I pray that your love for your Savior will grow deeper everyday and the things of this world will be seen for what they are, and the things of heaven be more than real. May grace continue to abound in your life and may your light that already shines brightly radiate stronger.”

I loved that! To see “the things of this world for what they are” and view life from a heavenly perspective would be a great gift indeed! How incredible that in a world where values are subjective and tolerance prized more than truth we have a sure Anchor to keep us rooted and grounded in the Truth (John 14:6). How interesting that Pilate asked “What is truth?” when Truth Himself was standing right in front of that confused Roman. Col 2:3 proclaims the incredible truth that in the Lord "are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." When we have Him, we have the treasure of heaven.

As I was pondering her birthday wish and thanking the Lord for her, I was struck by how much she meant to me although I only met her a few weeks ago. C.S. Lewis wrote,

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one!”

“Kindred spirits” from the moment we met, our friendship has quickly deepened and I eagerly look forward to what the Lord has for us in the future. This goes back to me underestimating the Lord’s ability to bless us. I met Elaini when I went to a party as a favor to my brothers and the hope of seeing a friend for a moment. I knew that friend would be really busy, but wanted the chance to see her again. Anyway, it was as if the Lord was saying, “Ah, you thought you were going to spend an awkward evening with strangers because William asked you to, but I reserve the right to give you so much more.” Apparently brilliant or related minds think alike, for a few hours later I was telling my mom how excited I was about Elaini’s friendship when she said, “Isn’t it amazing how the Lord brought you guys together? Isn’t that just like Him?” The Lord is not limited by anything but our unbelief, and He delights to bless us! How could we not love Someone like that?

Elizabeth Barrett Browning was right when she wrote,

"God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame."

The Man I Love (HE'S JEWISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(This is a note I wrote in July of 2007 and posted on my facebook account.)

I’ve been thinking a lot about love. Recently a close friend of mine decided to give up absolutely everything for the guy she loves. I’ve been wondering precisely why.

Have you ever listened to a girl explain why her love is the most amazing person on the face of the planet? It’s fascinating. When I was little, I made a list of all the things I wanted in “The One.” It was quite detailed with two columns…one was requirements and the other preferences. I found this the other day and it made me laugh. I wanted some rather surprising things… =)

What ARE the qualities you would want in someone, someone you’d lay down your life for day after day? Someone you’d give everything for?

It hit me like a lightning bolt; there is someone I care about like that! I’ve given the Lord my future, my life, my heart, my ambitions, my dreams, my everything. Why? The obvious answer, “because He first loved me” seemed dissatisfactory somehow. That’s what initially made me love Him, but now that I know Him better, why? I could live my life as a mediocre Christian and still get to heaven. For me, it’s not a matter of a debt that needs to be paid, but my love prompts me to live my life actively pursuing a closer walk with the Lord.

But why do I love Him?

The “daughters of Jerusalem” asked the Shulammite that question. The beautiful Shulammite is frantically searching for her beloved and asks the daughters of Jerusalem to help her. They respond, “What is your beloved more than another beloved, that you should give us such a charge?” After all, what makes the Lord so special?

I was struck by the Shulammite’s answer. She didn’t say, “Well, he brings me gifts, he treats me well, he tells me I’m beautiful, he’s financially stable, etc.” She doesn’t say what he’s done. Without hesitation, she starts at his head and goes down to his feet describing him himself. Now I don’t know what the Lord looks like, but the Bible does tell us about His personality and character, not just what He’s done.

So here’s a list I’ve been compiling, I’d love it if you all added to it!!!

The qualities of the Man I’ve given my heart to:

He was hated without a cause, and loved me without one!

He loves what is good.Truth finds its source in Him.

He is kind. On His tongue is the “law of kindness.” And on the verge of being betrayed, He greets Judas with the title “friend.”

He is strong. I can run to Him and know He can and will protect and guard me.

He is gentle. “His gentleness has made me great.”

He is just. A just and even balance is His delight.

He is no “respecter of persons.”

He is merciful. His heart breaks over those who choose death over Him.

He is faithful, even when I am faithless. His faithfulness is dependent not on my actions, but on His character.

He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

He is not proud, even though He has every reason in the world to be. He doesn’t defend or insist on His rights. “He did not think equality with God something to be grasped or firmly retained…but humbled Himself to take on the form of a man.”

He is revolted by sin. Yet He came to seek and save those who were lost. He hates the sin but loves the sinner, and can make that distinction without hypocrisy.

He is not a hypocrite. Anything He says, I can trust and believe, because it is true.

He is the type of person who children love and climb all over. “Allow the little children to come to Me…”

He welcomes everyone from the woman caught in adultery to the knowledgeable Nicodemus.

He is not abrasive, yet talked more about hell and sin than anyone else in the Bible. He is good.

Everything He does and thinks is good.

Joy epitomizes Him, yet He would be called “the Man of sorrows and familiar with grief” so He could say “enter into the joy of thy Lord.”

He is like music. He has all these odd intervals from seemingly discordant opposing qualities; yet these intervals make up the most beautiful and intense symphony.

He is constantly surprising me. (How can heaven be dull????)

He is wisdom itself.

He cares about the little things.

He is an extravagant giver. “Though He was rich, yet He became poor, that we through His poverty might become rich.”

He is truly great, as He always takes the lowest place.

Soon, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that He is Lord of all.

Even though He knows my frame, that it is but dust, He chooses to place His love on me and make me fit to be His bride.

He knows me completely, yet loves me entirely. (I used to think, if someone really knew me they wouldn’t love me…but He does!!!)

He is so sufficient, that He can become my sufficiency.

He is infinite in His power. “All power has been given to Me in heaven and earth.” He is not limited.

He is infinitely resourceful. He seeks those He loves, and doesn’t give up. We’re so quick to give up on Him, but He never ever gives up on me.

He always has the right words to say! (He’s promised to help me with that)

He never ever leaves. Regardless of what I do, He will never walk out. “Forsake thee or leave thee, never will I.”

He is sensitive yet strong. There is nothing weak about Him.

He is always available to give me His full attention.

He is delighted when I confide in Him. “He reserves the right to give us better than what we asked for.”

He is patient.

He is willing to wait.

He bears all things, believes all things, and hopes all things.

He never fails me.

He never disappoints.

He is grace and truth.

He is thoughtful. "Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders which You have done, and Your thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with You. If I would declare and speak of them, they would be too numerous to count."He is the God of all comfort. (When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.)

He changes those He touches. You can’t brush up against Him without being profoundly changed.

He is loyal.

He is determined.

He is quick to forgive (it’s the glory of a wiseman to overlook a transgression/offense)(PLEASE ADD!!!!)

There is no one like Him. (To whom then will ye liken me, or shall I be equal? saith the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: He calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that He is strong in power; not one faileth)

Truly, “He is altogether lovely. THIS is my beloved, and THIS is my friend.”

To Blog or Not to Blog--That is the Question

Over a year ago I contemplated the idea of starting my own blog. If you know me at all, you know I’m a hopeless people-person and love feedback from friends. With mixed feelings I asked my best friend, “If I was to have a blog, what should I name it?” Her response was chillingly realistic “I-Don’t-Have-Time-To-Do-This-So-I’m-Not.” I have a year left before donning the cape and gown of regal graduates and try to juggle numerous and diverse responsibilities with questionable success. The idea of adding yet another activity seemed unwise, to say the least. Bowing to superior wisdom, my blogging aspirations were put on hold only to be reexamined when a friend brought up the issue recently. Before you start anything in life it’s a good idea to think through the motivation behind it and its inevitable implications. After all, we only have so much time and ought to spend it wisely.

Quite frankly, the reason I vacillated so much was because I doubted what I had to offer the world of bloggers. Unlike some of my distinguished friends, I don’t have a message to revolutionize my generation, I’m not an accomplished photographer, and I'm most certainly not an eloquent writer. Why should I blog? What would I talk about? Would I be reduced to mindlessly discussing what I ate for breakfast?

Obviously, I decided to blog. The turning point in my internal debate was the realization that there is one thing I could write about that'd be worthwhile. Although I’m an ordinary girl, I have an extraordinary God. He has been so faithful to me and my relationship with Him is the most important thing in my life. This blog will be dedicated to my ramblings as I discover truths about Him in my Bible reading, see His faithfulness in my life, and revel in the hope I have in Him. If you decide to read, welcome to the world of my thoughts!